1. Control your emotions. Remain in control regardless the other party’s behavior. Control your voice, body and facial expressions. Don’t loose your Cool, Don’t Overreact, Stay focused on your goal. When the signs of stress are coming, acknowledge them. These skills are easier said than done, but mastering it would be well-worth it and rewarding.
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2. Build empathy. Try to understand the cause of the other Person’s concerns. Listen carefully without interruption (to save the other person’s face). Ask clarifying questions. Repeat the Person’s concerns with your own words – sometimes several times. You need to make sure that he feels that you are listening and understands what he’s trying to convey. By repeating, the other Person will hear his own words being said to him, and that can lead to a positive chain reaction within his/her thoughts.
3. Use Assertive, Gentle Confrontation/Approach. Explain the negative effect they cause to the negotiation/communication. Focus on behavior, not the Person. Do not insult the other Person. Do not lecture, just be straightforward. Tell how you expect behavior to change. Name the difficult behavior and state what you want it replaced with. Let them know what will happen if they continue with their behavior. Ask for agreement.
For example: “Mr. A, I understand that this situation is very frustrating. I understand that the expectation is to have permanent resolution. Let’s continue our conversation with calm, focus on the issues, try to move forward. Yelling and swearing will only increase anxiety and everyone can become nervous. We can reconvene again when all of us are ready to discuss this issue in a calm and respectful way.”
4. Seek for Alternatives. Ask the other party to suggest for alternatives. It shows that you are reasonable, and will enhance your credibility. It’s even better if you are prepared with alternatives before negotiation/communication starts.
5. Use breaks/create distractions to redirect attention and improve the overall atmosphere. Tell joke or funny story. Timing is essential, otherwise it’s going to have a reserve-impact.